Sunday, December 29, 2013
Sunday, November 24, 2013
There are a ton of messages out influencing all of us, conditioning all of us, through television. Agree, disagree or feel indifferent to these messages, they are still there.
As a father who is trying to rise above the limited expectations of our society and be an example for the young men I am responsible to train at the same time, I am glad to limit the messages I am putting into myself by "boycotting" television.
While I do not find this specific commercial raunchy, there are some messages that I don't like within it, mainly the ones that take your sexuality from the private to public. This ad was designed to be sexual because of the hip movement, the same effect could possibly be had while jumping up and landing. And then there is the term "ring her bell"...yeah, that one is there too.
There are many more actually, but we have become so conditioned to the messages that we miss all these undertones.
As a society, we have allowed for the belief that the way we are cared for by another is sexual performance and pleasure, and we have missed out, leaving people lonely, empty, and searching.
I understand the fight against the commercial, but it shouldn't be this one commercial. It should be so much more.
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Since I used to be a sports fanatic, I took the term CBA (collective bargaining agreement) from the MLB to refer to the give and take I expected in my marriage with Kim.
This CBA was really a "you do this for me and I will do this for you"
In reality, we manipulated each other, possibly me more than her
I would do this so I felt cared for. I would do this so I felt secure. I would do this for so many other reasons.
But in all my positioning, it was ultimately all about me, and I sinned against her.
Friends, please don't do what I did. Make it about her.
Friday, November 15, 2013
with every beat a different thought comes to mind.
at 1 am in the morning, i should be fast asleep, but there is no rest.
i am caught in between a place of dreaming about what God is going to do and fearful of what God is going to do at the same time.
i spent the night at abbafather.com glancing at books, being pushed by the spirit. the excitement of seeing men grow around me, of my own becoming, and the oh so blessedness of seeing my own boys become men, i am beside myself.
i do need to sleep though. God please give me rest.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Saturday, August 31, 2013
here is why: kim is single again. and i am overjoyed.
part of me can't post because i dont want to say anything that will give a bad impression of her. part of me can't post because i feel shameful for being overjoyed when i know that she is hurting.
i really see each interaction as an opportunity for us to begin to build a new relationship.
there is so much more going on inside my head and my heart, pieces that i cannot write at the moment.
one thing is for certain though, no matter what level our relationship reaches, i need to seek my value and worth from my Creator God, not his beautiful creation.
Saturday, August 03, 2013
work, soccer, chores, love, rest, strategy, overcoming, conquering, old friends, jealousy, protection...the list goes on and on. (and on)
the constant thoughts are choking out the time to dream and to relish in the victory of where i have been.
and in the constant thoughts i am reminder to care for myself. i am reminded to just simply live.
now i just have to figure out what that looks like ;)
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Monday, July 15, 2013
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Tuesday, July 09, 2013
Friday, April 26, 2013
I looked back a few times. As I ascended the hill the beauty if Muskegon Lake sparkled in the sun. Another stop towards the top and I saw the house I am blessed with.
But when I reached the top of the due , there it was, the beauty of all the Great Lakes, Lake Michigan.
In that moment God spoke to my heart telling me although there is beauty behind me when I look back, there is a greater beauty ahead. Just like the work of climbing the dune was exhausting, the weary work of moving through life these past two years will bring me towards that beauty.
And my heart is rejoicing as I sit here with the refreshing breeze and the sun warming my face.
It is spring break and I took time off so they would not have to be in childcare.
It has just been reacting to what they may want to do for fun, and watching movies, and snuggling, and laughing.
Yup, I have always loved them, but right now I can really feel it on a new level.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
The struggle between good and evil and each little battle within each life. A host of demons working together, strategizing to capture our souls for an eternal feast. Elder demons teaching and training the younger ones. A remembrance that there is a spiritual battle being waged in a realm that we cannot fathom.
Perhaps the greatest lesson I have learned this far though is a simple thought. God is bigger than I know. The scripture that says even the demons believe there is a God, and they shutter, is a bit more real to me through the first 11 letters. Screwtape reminds wormwood often that we as people do not live in the same spiritual form they do and as a result we are not constantly reminded of how great a power his light is. Screwtape talks about being in constant pain because of the overwhelming presence of "the Enemy."
Our God is greater, so much greater than we know.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
In order to do this I must first start by acknowledging the areas where I am weak. Honestly, this will be easy. I do not have to look too far into my life to see areas where I need to grow.
I am going to write these down and hand them to a few friends.
I will also be telling handing them my plan on how to grow in these areas.
My journey will be full of small goals, and when the goals become victories, I will celebrate.
I won't be giving up on these things either, they will become a part of me. Don't get me wrong, I will fail, but I will carry on. The reward is worth getting back up and starting again.
This journey will be difficult, because it will be about me becoming. There will be a part of my life that I will have to face and willingly lay down. It has to be done though.
Please pray for me along this journey. I need it.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
I fear, I disapprove of myself, of my ambitions and dreams. I doubt.
I look for encouragement and approval. I dream of being loved despite my ever present faults.
How much if me is wrapped up in feeding myself or creating an environment where I can be fed.
This angst points to needing a redeemer...it points to the dark places inside of me.
But I take heart knowing that in the asking for the redeemer to come that redemption is near. I take heart in knowing that even the darkest of darks is light to him.
I take heart in knowing there is one that has overcome.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
I grow tired of sitting in this desert. I grow tired of the detachment of my idols. The evil places inside of me seek a safe comfortable place.
Come speak to me, come satisfy my deepest longings. Come soothe me with your presence. Let me know your peace.