Thursday, June 14, 2012

My kind of town?

I am in Chicago attending a 2-day training seminar on hydronic controls. I am really excited about some of the things I am learning and look forward to taking them back to West Michigan.

I am here with my GR counterpart, Tom Leyder and have been enjoying getting to know him more as we travel.

I also was able to get to Wrigley for the tigers v cubs with some friends from my fantasy baseball league. We hung around Wrigleyville for a while and caught up. Pretty awesome to catch a night game at Wrigley.

I have always said I have loved Chicago. I really do enjoy all the options a big city brings for entertainment and the ability to get away from normal life, but I realized this trip, it is not Chicago that I love specifically. It is the time spent with people I care about and that care about me that make trips here special.

But it is not even trips here, I am slowly becoming aware. It is relationships, sharing life and thoughts and feelings and dreams and hurts and stresses...real relationships with others that I really love.

I wish I would have learned these things as a child, I wish I would not have had to pay the price of failed friendships and a failed marriage...

I am a new creation. I am being sanctified. With the lessons I learning, the sins of my past will have no place in my future. There are chains being broken...chains that have bound me for so long. The truth that is Jesus atoning sacrifice is setting me free piece by piece.

Looking forward to the day when death dies and all things are made new.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

God is God

I was late to work this morning because I was trying to look just right today.  I did my hair a couple times, put on a few different shirts, found the best socks and debated over my shoes much longer than I normally do.

I was trying to install confidence in myself and in my appearance hoping that it will sway the judge’s decision today in my favor.

I even stood in front of the mirror to give myself approval, or at least hoped I could…but the more I tried to look within myself for the answer to my anxiousness and to calm my fears of what could happen or go wrong, the more anxious I became, and now I was 30 minutes late.

All this was in my subconscious at this point, I never said to myself, I need this because I want to feel confident going into today.  I never said, what I can do is good enough to get the outcome I want.  That is what I was thinking though.

I didn’t realize until I was in my car, still restless and anxious about today even though I had asked God for peace about it, what I was really doing.

I expected peace to come over me quickly, but the truth is, I wanted peace by knowing that the outcome will be what I want.  That peace wasn’t coming, and God’s presence wasn’t being felt.  I knew I had to change my prayer.  I had to ask where my sin was that was keeping his presence away from me.

It was then, when the Holy Spirit showed me, that I saw my sin was that I trusting in myself and not trusting in my Creator.

A quick confession and then the peace came.  God is in control.  Despite what may happen in court today, God is in control, and he has plans for me.

Saturday, June 02, 2012


I don't know who this man is, but I learned something from him this morning. His registration number for the run 4 wings 5k was 756.

It may not actually be that I learned something from him, but rather through him.

He was standing at the about the 2.8 mile mark cheering everybody on as they pressed on towards the finish line. He wasn't the only one along the way, but he was the first one.

This man, #756, brought Hebrews 12:1 to life for me. It was the instant I saw him that the Holy Spirit opened my heart to this.

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, (Hebrews 12:1 NASB)

I finished the race well today...the app I use tells me I hit 9.92mph. It took me 33:32 to finish the 5k, but I finished without stopping, which was my goal.

I hope the same will be said when this race that has been set before me is finished.

Friday, June 01, 2012

T minus 12 hours

It is almost race time. As I start writing it is 12 hours and 15 minutes

This 5k will be a milestone. It will be the first item in my list that I will get to check off. This list is a list of things I want to, for various reasons, do in my life. The list started very small but it has grown. I should probably revisit it and add some more things I am serious about but it is sometimes difficult to decipher between a desire and a dream.

In spending some time alone tonight I have been looking back over the last few months and I feel like I have come a long way. I feel more consistent, more disciplined. I think that I have matured and gained wisdom. I know these things have happened actually.

And tonight, while I sit here alone, I am smiling, I am dreaming, and I am believing that I am loved.

Milestones are all around, and even though I may not have added some of these experiences to my list of things to do, I enjoy looking back to see how many milestones have added up.