Saturday, January 24, 2015

An outsiders perspective.

For the last couple years I have been expanding my relational circles in order to meet more single ladies. Coed soccer, church, community events, local bands playing at a pub, bookstores...I've been busy. And I've always had an open eye. 

I don't have a game or a level of mystique to draw people in with.  I am straightforward, open, and prefer to talk about matters of the heart.  A friend of a friend even asked her if I was gay because I will openly talk about being a better man and loving better. Supposedly, men aren't allowed to do that.  (I hope you are shaking your head too, it is just nonsense.)

While I am still learning to honor myself, my desires and feelings, and will still shift into a people pleasing mode for fear of rejection, I am not blind to what I see. 

And here is what I see:

Single moms, you are strong women. You sacrifice much of what you want for the betterment of your kids.  You don't have to, but you choose to.  You know what love is. 

You have been deeply wounded by at least one guy in your life but you still hope to find that one person that can touch you in the depth of your soul. You dream of this and even if it is hidden away in the highest tower of your heart, this dream still lives. You want some one who can see you for you and just love you.  The dream is that he will walk with you every step of your life. 

You carry great beauty everywhere you go.  You are beautiful. You have not heard it enough in your life. You have not heard it enough today. Saying it with every synonym of the word still wouldn't be enough. Pretty, ravishing, stunning, beauteous, good looking, hot, attractive, alluring, dreamy, sexy, bonny...all of these words are not enough.  I can hear you now...but my thighs, my stomach, my stretch marks...you wouldn't think so if you saw me naked.  

STOP.  

You are beautiful. Maybe it was your eyes, or smile, or the way you walk, or how you were rocking that dress that first caught our eye, but that isn't what keeps us interested. It is who you are. It is your heart and your dreams that hook us. It is the beauty that lies inside of you.  Believe me on this.  Who you are is captivating. 


You are worth fighting for.  My friends with little girls are all caught up with the Disney princesses. Truth be told, we all are in a way. Cinderella was locked in a tower and had to be sought after. Snow White's heart lay asleep in the forest because of the posion apple. Briar Rose was asleep in her castle. Rapunzel was trapped in her tower.  These fictional stories are similar to yours. Whether it be towers to scale or dragons to battle, hearts are guarded. It will take time and effort by somebody who is willing to fight for you to really break past the defenses. Know that you are worth fighting for. 

There is so much more that could be said on a personal level, but these are pieces of the truth that I can see as an outsider. You are worthy to be loved, so keep dreaming and waiting for the day when you can rest in the arms of the one who will walk with you in your soul. 





2 comments:

zapmama27 said...

So, here's my thoughts. Beautiful pick me up for single mama's. But, Jesus is the only one who will ever fit that role perfectly. Single moms, adopted and redeemed by God....you are royalty..your papa is the King of creation. Any man we hope to fulfill us will fail us...man is fallen...and he needs help...serious help!! That's why God makes us mans helper, lol. The future husband of a single lady will always be 2nd best next to God. He will fail u, be okay with that...you will fail him too...pray for a man who is 2nd in line next to Jesus and for the grace you'll both need to forgive each other often.

rob peoples said...

I think we are on different topics here.

What I am hearing you say is that the Creator God sets the value of each human soul. We need to claim the truth about who we are.

Part of that truth I believe is that we were made for relationships, and in the perfection of the garden we were made to walk with each other in the depths of our soul. You mention "mans helper" and I think helpmate, which means wife or female marriage partner. When I think partner I think somebody who is in this with me and we share the outcome.

I believe there is a part of us that has died. We have forgotten what we were created for, and that is perfect relationships. A woman walking in my soul, and I in hers. At times we choose to forget because the pain from the past is too deep and it is hard to dream when so much weighs us down. I am saying honor your heart that you were created with. Let the dreams you have live strong!

And don't forget that we in Christ are a redeemed people, that we have new hearts, and are no longer bound to our old fallen dead hearts.

Just think, God wants us fully alive, desires us to be deeply and fully known, traveling as partners hand in hand. It is a glorious thought. It is a dream worth dreaming.