Perhaps my favorite words I've ever written.

Ryan,

I am excited to give you this Bible because it is a trail marker on your journey to becoming a man and a warrior for the kingdom. I pray the love that God has for you motivates you to change the world one moment at a time. I am honored to call you my son. 

Love always. 

Dad. 

my month without facebook

thanks in part to the book 7 by jen hatmaker, part ryan calling me an addict, and part holy spirit prompting, i deleted several social media apps off my phone for the month of june (and maybe longer).  you know, the device that i have within my reach 24/7 like 91% of adults that grants me access to games, people, the world wide web, wikipedia, and other major distractions from the things that i should be focusing on.

here is the big thing i learned by cutting out most of the distractions:

i have been living a life of fake relationships.

yup, fake relationships.  and the worst part of it is, i have a rule that i have to know the people that i friend on facebook.  so it is fake relationships with people i know.

here is how it goes.  you post something cheery, or something about where you are at, or some pictures.  i think it is pretty cool and like it, or maybe in the rare case i comment on it and it goes back and forth once or twice.  the end.

and we associate without ever really associating.  we know facts without really knowing people.

in my month without facebook, if i wanted to know how somebody was doing, i had to call or text them.  i even used that same phone that i would have checked on facebook with.  pretty miraculous.  but those phone calls allowed for real conversation, and i could tell my the inflection of that persons voice if they were as good as their facebook posts made it seem.

i have to figure out what is next for me in regards to all these apps and social media, but for today at least, i am keeping them off my phone...cause technically its still june :-)

Larry Salisbury

I love it when Larry Salisbury visits our church. 

As a young boy, Larry lived a few blocks from my house in Grand Haven. He went to my church as well. Larry worked at the school I went to that was ran by my church. My dad was a deacon at the church. 

To the best I remember, all those things added up to Larry having meals at our house.  I remember a few other stories as well, like gummy rats in a paper bag.  Not the full story, but part of it at least. 

I remember spying on the adults long after I was supposed to be in bed, spying and listening.  Sleep simply was not as fascinating as the things the adults were talking about. 

Here is why I love when Larry Salisbury comes to visit my church.  I see a man who, from my childhood memories, was an average man, an average man who made a life altering decision to say yes to God.  

When Larry comes to visit, his stories are far from average.  He has gone much further than West Michigan, he has traveled the world and seen Gods beautiful creation.  Larry has seen God work mightily.  

Let me say that again, Larry has seen God work mightily.  

I am encouraged to see God use an "average man" in a mighty way.  I am encouraged to see God be faithful to this man.  

In a way, Larry is a promise to me. His life is Good News to me as well. God is alive, God is moving mightily, God uses average people. God wants to, and WILL, use me if I say yes like Larry did. 

I love it when Larry Salisbury visits our church. 

Tears fall

Tonight as snuggle time became prayer time tears fell. 

They fell as each boy uniquely gave thanks for the important things to them. 

They fell as Liam wanted more turns as he listened and agreed with his brothers. 

They fell as I thanked God for each individual personality gifted to me through these little men and the remembrance they are to me of who God is. 

They fell as I was urged to pray for healing for their mothers leg and freedom from the constant pain she endures. 

And they fall now as I humbly realize I am teaching them about the God who redeems, restores, and reconciles and that they are getting it, that they see the truths that God is for us and He wants to make all things new. 

And while tears may fall, my heart is overflowing. 

Scary good

God has answered several prayers of mine recently. 

I mean I get impressions of God speaking info to me often, and God is always faithful to answer the prayer to make my heart soft again and to draw me near to him, but these prayers were different.  At least they seem that way. 

Prayer 1 was when I needed confirmation that an impression was true. It was Easter Sunday, and I was a bit hard hearted. I asked for a sign of confirmation.  The last sermon note that day...it was like God was asking me do you want the fleece on the ground wet and the surrounding ground dry, or the ground wet and the fleece dry.  He had me. Confirmation was given. Prayer answered. 

Also on Easter Sunday, a few rows up, was this guy sitting with his wife. Normally, like every other Sunday, it was always here alone. I though nice, he came for Easter, maybe I missed him at Christmas. But the next week, he was there again, and again today, without his wife who had to take a kid to a soccer match. Today, I was excited. I've been praying since September for this guy to come back to God and to the church.  Prayer answered. 

The other thing that was very clear, this past Friday, after having a really encouraging conversation with my brother Chris I got an impression to call a guy. I texted with him a week ago and knew his family life was crazy busy and it wasn't letting up until June. Simple prayer, God if we are supposed to talk tonight, have him call me. 20 minutes later, I just pulled into my driveway and I get a phone call from, you guessed it, the guy that came to mind. Prayer answered. 

All this is pretty cool things that God is up to, but it has me scared. 

Scared, I tell ya. Uneasy, worried, nervous. 

Why?  Because God has started to burden me with other stuff. Big stuff. A building acquisition, the complete healing of my ex wife's body, a revival of manhood as defined by God in this area. Hope for the journey, a book to be written, and other dreams. 

Bold prayers. 

I am scared because what if I don't have enough faith. 

Here is the beauty I am hanging onto today in the midst if my fear, it is not about me, and it is not done by me. It is God alone.

It is God alone, and that is the way it should be. 

love

i love.

and it will cost me everything of who i am.

i love.

and the stress of life will show the cracks in who i am.

i love.

and i will continue to for all time.

Happy 3rd Liam

One of the most difficult things that I have to navigate as a divorced parent is missing out on birthdays. 

Forget the reminder of a broken family within the absence of my son on his special day, it is the absence of my son that does it. 

Yes, we will have our time together, and we will celebrate, but it is all the other echoes that creep into my mind. 

I love you Liam and I enjoyed our conversation where you proudly told me not only are you three but also that you had boogers in your nose. 

And tomorrow night it will be time to celebrate you for all that you are.