tonight i listened to a few Mark Driscoll sermons from the Real Marriage series. #4, the respectful wife, was emotional. my heart yearns to be treated that way. it is almost as if God set it up for me to watch that, to let my emotional walls come down and be honest with myself, and then have it followed up with #5, taking out the trash.
taking out the trash is about repentance and forgiveness...about being bitter or being better.
my new years resolution was to fill my 2012 with forgiveness. forgiveness for myself and for others. forgiveness from God. like all good resolution makers though, i have fallen a bit off that wagon.
you would have thought that having conversations this week with close friends would have been enough for me to be willing to let myself go there...but they weren't.
it wasnt until tonight, watching these sermons that i allowed myself to open my heart and touch this sore spot within me. it wasnt until the testimony at the end of #5 where the man said to mark. "i want blood for this" and mark responded, "you've already got blood for it, its the blood of jesus"
it is my sin that has made me bitter. it my unforgiveness i need to confess.
while i do that, if you want to watch this great series, you can find it here: http://marshill.com/media/real-marriage
if you dont want to watch that great series, then please consider starting an account at kiva, they are giving you a free trial loan if you have never been there before. http://www.kiva.org/invitedby/rob4400
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