if time didn't fly...

in my down time i often wonder what life would be like if it didn't fly faster than the speed of light. there would be so much that i would get done. there would be so many people i would call and invest my life resources into. i would read. i would have conversations. real meaningful conversations. i would listen to people. i would take naps when i got tired. i would educate myself in the fine art of selling. i would exercise (and lose weight)

now i am wondering what is stopping me. why can't i prioritize these things. whey can't i open myself to people and invest in them.

i will see you later, i am going to get some answers.

in awe of granpa

these are just a few of the pictures that i will post in the next few days. each one shows a sliver of the awe and love that ryan has for his granpda miles

imagine....a toad

imagine with me if you would being a toad. not an itsy bitsy one. but not one the size of your hand either. imagine with me being a toad the size of...well, a small frog. now imagine being this toad that is the size of a small frog aimlessly wondering around outside in some person's backyard. maybe you hop past some leaves that have fallen. and then you hop to the tree and looks up at it. maybe you starts thinking to yourself that if your legs were stong enough you would hop right up the tree and live there forever. maybe you would then daydream about all the spiders and ants and mosquitoes that you would eat and then wham a 16 month old boy falls right by you. the boy notices you and reaches for you. you start to frantically hop away but it is no use. this blonde 16 month old is back on his feet and chasing you. you think that maybe you can out smart this boy by hoping around the tree and then he won't see you anymore...but you have no luck...he is a peoples boy afterall.

then the next thing that you know is that you are a toad the size of a small frog hanging upside down from this peoples' boy left hand.

if you can imagine all that then you have a good idea of what the first toad that ryan ever caught must have felt like. i did not know whether to applaud him for his effort or tell him to put the toad down before it peed on him. so i did both. yeah ryan, good job getting the toad but lets put it down so we can catch it later ok. well, maybe i got kim's attention first so that she could see how big our son is getting, and then told him to put it down. but he did, and then we played in the sprinkler.

i am pretty sure that when grandpa jack gets wind of ryan tracking down this toad and catching it with his bare left hand that he will try to have him out at deer camp this fall to teach him some other fine hunting techniques.

the joy of water

can you hear ryan screaming, "water, get your ice cold water here!" he is going to be a terrific sales person someday. or a great football fan (for the spartans and raiders if you are wondering) or a really great band nerd (he already plays a keyboard better than i do). the point is i know that when i look at him i just want his life to be full of love and joy and faith and hope and grace. no matter what other plans and hopes and dreams come true or not those are the things that i hope for above all else. it would be great to see him score the goal that pushes his fellow norsemen to the state soccer title, all in his freshman year, but even that would fade away. and it would certainly pale in comparison to ryan spending the last of his allowance to buy a dinner for a man who has not eaten in four days. i will be proud of ryan for whatever. (i already am, he said sunny days today, just like his elmo doll)

while skipping church this morning i remembered earlier today a song that i sang when i was six.

i am a promise, i am a possibility, i am a promise, with a capital p. i am a great big bundle of potentiality. and i am learning to hear god's voice and i am trying to make the right choice. and i'm a promise - to be anything god wants me to be.

today - ryan is my reminder that i am a great big bundle of potential. not just as a father, not just as a salesperson, not even as a pistons bandwagon rider, but as a promise. i hope that my 15 month old prophey can remind you of that as well.

(for pictures of ryan try looking here)

often intimidated but never duplicated

god created me special. he timed everything out the be perfect for his plan of my life. i often like to think that i know what i am doing when in all reality i have no clue. take being a husband for example. no clue. my wife needs me to be romantic. really no clue. i am about as emotionally level as they come (most of the time) and so this is hard for me to do. i have to be super intentional about my words and actions so that i don't ruin whatever slight bit of romance that i have created. i love my wife and would give up anything up for her. she makes the dark days sparkle when she kisses my lips.

but i needlessly worry that i dont convey my love to her. i allow myself to become intimidated by my lack of knowledge and abilities.

but i can tell you one thing. i am special. god created me special. as i share, you will see that i am indeed often intimidated but never duplicated.

as a matter of fact, i am going to give you a link of somebody i am not. don't let the name fool you. this is not me