sometimes this is really bad because it allows me to think too much or worse yet, more easily justify making a decision that i really should not make...especially with how i spend money. the numbers spin so fast in my head as they compute that you would think you were watching a slot machine go round and round.
however, this also allows me to find better ways at doing things when i evaluate them. they are not better because i say they are, but because my mind allows me to piece together option after option until the "perfect" combination comes out...sometimes they need a little tweaking still, but it sure gets close to operating better.
this ability truly is a gift from God, one that i am not thankful enough for because it is something that i have grown accustomed to over my life. this is how i was made.
in my conversation with al last week, i shared with him that i believe i am being given a ministry of brokenness. a ministry of brokenness? rob, you are making that up...and maybe i am, but that is not the point. to me, a ministry of brokenness has allowed me to see people as people and as a result allowed me to relate on a different level.
i may have a high iq, but i have many things to learn. this divorce has taught me a few things...some of which relate specifically to this ministry of brokenness.
take what i have learned with my finances for example...things i needed to learn, things that i would not have known with out this time in life, things that i can pass on to others.
other examples include what i have learned about parenting, cooking, maintaining a house...not that i have learned all these things, but i have learned and will continue to learn.
i have also learned, that as a rule, the church, organization or body, does not really know how to help somebody as they go through a loss like this.
i really dont know what all this means, or where i am going with this post exactly, but i do know this...these lesson i have learned are not lessons i want to waste.
2 comments:
Yes Rob you do have a very high intelligence, all you kids do. The difference with you...you use it...you exercise it. It is one reason we have the "conversations/debates" we do.
I am sure that eventually God will show you exactly how you will be using the things you are learning. Just keep learning, listening to others, opening your heart to new lessons.
BUT just remember other people are right sometimes too, they have already learned a lesson you may not have experienced yet.
A ministry of "brokenness" may be something you made up, but I feel the same way, I too have felt called to a ministry of brokenness by the trials in my life. While I agree the church as a whole doesn't know how to help those that go through what you have or what I have, I disagree that help can not be found at Church. It is people like us within the Church that can help others as they go through their own trails and try to put back the pieces of in their own broken seasons of life. The struggle I deal with, it to make my brokenness public, to use the pain and hurt and embarrassment to help others through their own. You have a leg up on me there.
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