beauty will rise

a favored music artist of mine, steven curtis chapman, suffered a tragic loss several years ago.  out of his suffering he wrote an album entitled beauty will rise.  in that album there is a song with that same title, a song that god has been using to speak to my heart...to lift me up...to remind me of his promise.

slowly panic turns to pain

as we awake to what remains

and sift through the ashes that are left behind

but buried deep beneath

all our broken dreams

we have this hope

out of these ashes, beauty will rise

as i sit here looking at everything that isnt, like a home that has been burnt to the ground, and begin to pick up the pieces of my life and learn to live without kim, as i mourn the future that i thought we had together, in love at an old age, i have the promise of god that he will make something beautiful of my life.

i do not know what this beauty will entail, i do not know how soon it will show itself to be but i do know a couple things.

i know that god is faithful and always gives what he promises

more importantly though, i know that if god considers what is to become of my life and the life of my boys something beautiful, then by all means, i should consider it the same.  how dare i think i know better than the creator of this universe and the giver of life.

it hurts to be here, it hurts like hell, but at the same time, i am glad to be here because it means i am on the path of becoming something beautiful