i acted in a way that had no repentance of my sins. i did not ask for forgiveness. everything kept building up on each other.
she had to close her spirit to protect herself.
today, i am at the same point...but only if i choose to be...in all situations we have the choice to lead our hearts or to follow them...my choice today is to love kim with all i am and allow myself to be in a spot that i may be hurt again or to act in a way protect myself from her actions and any further pain...
phillipians 2:7,8 says but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. and being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
it is possible that i am reading this wrongly, but what i am reading is that jesus took pain after pain for us, all the way to the point of his death...those pains were unneeded pains to him, because he was perfect, and he is god...he did these things as an expression of his unconditional love for us.
i could close my spirit to kim, and i could protect myself from any pain that could be caused by the rejection that is to come if i put myself out there...but how would that be loving her unconditionally...i would be saying, kim, i will love you as long as you do not carry on in your pursuit of your own happiness instead of what god has for you...
jesus has not stopped loving kim despite the choices that she is making. i committed to her that i would love her for better or for worse, essentially that i would love her unconditionally. today, i can choose to have integrity and choose to stand up to my commitment. today, i can choose to love her as i said i would.
and that is my choice...to love. i will lead my heart and not close my spirit to her. this day, and every day to follow, i will choose to love.
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