i am a child of God

i cannot remember a christmas that i have been more excited about than this christmas.

strike that, i cannot remember ever really being excited about christmas.

dont get me wrong, there were always moments of christmas past that i really enjoyed but there has always been a sense of brokenness that has stolen my excitement.  while i dont remember many things from my childhood, i can remember when this brokenness first showed up and i know it has plagued me since.

even though the voices of the brokenness in my life has increased, there is a voice that is even louder speaking to me.

it is the voice of my creator whispering words of love and affirmation to me, calling to me, filling the empty parts of my heart.

after our forefathers decided to do things their way, God set his plan of redemption in place...and maybe it was already there before we were created.  either way, when we broke ourselves and made it impossible for us to commune with our creator, God provided a way back for us.

the christmas story really starts there, when we first sinned.  the angels proclaimed it to the sheperds, "peace on earth, goodwill toward men"  the holy one came down to reconcile us to him.  he came to redeem.  he came to restore what had been lost.

redemption, restoration, reconciliation

i want these things in all areas of my life, and even though there are some ways that restoration is just not possible, new life CAN come from what has died.

when i started to listen, i began to hear something different than the voices of the world, i began to hear something different that my self rejection screaming at me.  i began to hear the voice of God tell me that i am loved, that he came down next to me to pick me up and restore me.

the voices of self rejection are still strong, but there is a greater voice, it is the voice of redemption, restoration, and reconciliation.  it is the voice of my creator tell me of my worth, telling me that i am a child of God.

christmas is exciting to me this year because we celebrate the beginning of God's biggest act of love, because we celebrate God's plan of redemption for mankind as he reconciles us back to him so that our relationship can be restored.  we celebrate because through God's son Jesus we can once again be told that we are his child, his beloved.

there isnt any bit of brokenness that is bigger than that.