certain joy

there are certain joys about being a parent.  tonight after all the fun of halloween was over ryan and i had a few minutes to talk.  i called him to the couch i was sitting on and rested my hand on his knee as he was telling me about school.

it was so fulfilling just listening to this little man.  his long term sub is finishing this friday, she has been with them since the beginning of the year, and today she made a comment about reese's peanut butter cups so ryan wanted to be certain to bring her some.  we talked about homework and his party at school.  ryan is a great kid, and his mind is so wonderful.  we even talked about math.  ryan doesnt like it so much, but i love it.  when he told me he was struggling with crossboxing.  i dont know this term but its something to do with subtraction when you need to borrow from multiple columns.  i got all giddy and went to the table to get some paper and crayons to show him my "easy way" of doing it.  (i always looked for the easiest way to come to the correct solution)

when ryan went to bed he woke sick noah (he missed trick or treating) who came out and sat next to me.  it quickly became him leaning and laying on me.  he is warm and lethargic, but was showing some improvement from 4 hours ago when he could have passed for a zombie.  we snuggled for a while and told noah there is no school for him tomorrow unless he gets a lot better and then he trotted away and back into bed.

caring for these young men is a joy because when i sit down and savor moments like these, i am reminded that i am a son as well.  it is the best image i have for how God loves me.  perhaps the greatest of joy from these moments comes from knowing that as i target knowing God intimately and tangibly that these boys will follow me and begin to target the same.

i think it is fitting that i end with this quote i stumbled upon earlier tonight

don't fear failure, fear spending your life succeeding at things that really do not matter