thoughts about my grandpa passing

My grandpa Harvey passed away yesterday.  While it is true that his destination is an eternity with God, there is pain in the loss.

At some point in time yesterday a facebook message started where my extended family started writing their memories of him.  These special moments carried on throughout the night (thankfully I know how to turn notifications off for the night) and have been touching to read, so many great memories of his wonderful love.

That is where my pain begins though.

My memories of my grandpa are limited because of the brokenness of my past.  I probably have the least memories of my siblings, which probably all pale in comparison to my cousins.  And today, because my grandpa is dead, there is no chance to build any further memories.  There is no chance to redeem the brokenness.

However, because I am learning to let all my feelings have a voice, even the painful ones that reside in the brokenness, I have begun to see that God is still there, ready to speak to me, ready to be faithful to his promises, ready to make his might known, ready to show his glory.

It is in my pain that I am reminded that our creator is a God of redemption and reconciliation.  I am reminded that although there is a pattern of brokenness in the past, chains that have bound my family tree for generations, that there is redemption possible because of the blood of Jesus.  The power that conquered the grave is the same power that God can use to break these chains and create new patterns.

If you stop to think about it, it is the very story of the gospel itself, God’s redemption coming into our lives and touching the brokenness.

I think my grandpa would have smiled at that.